Monday, January 16, 2006

Tree

The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees.
Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting. I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre- U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her.
She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm.
She is just a very ordinary gal.
I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness.
Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility.
Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is
not a good match for me.
I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her. I felt that if she's my gal, she will
be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years.
She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years.
She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director.
When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was
swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day. When everybody go back
home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or
so.

My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her
eyes was filled shocked. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend.
The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened.
I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.

When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she
told me about her getting together. I know whose the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while. A very cute guy full of energy, lively and
interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.

I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her.
When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it.
It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breath. Wanted to shout but can't.
Tears rolled down & I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.

During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then. It says "Leaf
departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"

Labels: stories

-----------------------------------------------------------
tEdDi @ |10:31 am|